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Vorm
4th March 2004, 17:16
One day Fred went to the shop to fetch a packet of Marmite crisps to munch on, then suddenly a big hairy monster appeared which was named Oggie the ogre, with bad breath. His sidekick Alice wanted Freds crisps so Fred started huffing and puffing whilst Alice began making smoke rings out of a box of matches. Meanwhile Fred carried a blow torch in his pocket in case he wanted roasted chestnuts.

Oggie broke wind it smelt like Freds breath after vomiting his breakfast after eating a big greasy fryup served in a Festering pig troff! Oggie asked Alice 'would you mind if I put my finger in your cream pie and tasted it?'

'Hmmm' said Alice when did you become so romantic?

Oggie began to shake uncontrollably until his leg began to smoke. 'That's what you get if you be poking your fingers in my mushy chicken pot noodle whilst looking at that bowl of dried apricot halfs!'

Later that day Fred and Alice talked about Oggies big horn which when wet was very slippery, seemed to get rather large when Alice touched it with her slipper, which was made of nice furry pink hamster skins that were covered in yummy plain chocolate, which was French.

Fred decided to go for a shop at Asda to buy some vodka redbull for the weekend rave. After shopping, he went to the dental practise to to get his jumper that Oggie had stolen from [him] just last week. As he was entering the surgery, for a bad moment there he, he was going to ask the Docter if he knew where to put his drill when baking a bun in the nice hot oven.

Mosgriglean was a hairy female model who had a dark secret that was virtually impossible to see when she had her monthly makeup day. It was one of the most Nicest days of the year 2099. Mosgriglean looked up and said 'look, what is that its a big long, thick, ermmm plank of wood?'
'I wonder what thats about then?'

To Mosgrigleans' horror the plank began falling towards him spinning round, flipping getting ever closer when suddenly, bang! Alice shot it with her magnum, not an icecream but a gun!!!!

Mosgriglean thanked Alice with a bunch of bananas that she promptly ate like a pig.

Oggie had seen something moving near by, it was hidden by the overgrown bush.

'Hello' said Oggie as Mosgriglean fell faster than a tonne of bricks.
'What are you doing you stupid repungent smelly cheese?
This could have destroyed your smellyness, what where you thinking it would do?
Enlarge your fungus within?'
'No, that was just an attempt to scare the living daylights out of Alice.'

Suddenly there was a loud bang coming from the direction of Oggies left shoulder, he glanced behind him and saw what looked some sort of Unidentified Flying Object so he started to pursue the strange craft until he stopped suddenly.
What he saw made him so angry that he began to shake rattle and roll like Elvis.
What was happening to my sausages, will most certainly cause a most horrible set of events which could change the face of the whole earth as we know it.
Not only that but it killed my sausages and baked beans wich where cunningly disguised as furry and squeeky little vermin that were lying on the table of needles.

Mosgriglean sat down next to the bush. Completely exhausted. Things were begining to get hairy and then the realisation of what had just happened sank in but she went to Bognor Regis to have a picture taken with Mr Doo the local traffic warden.

Mr Doo decided that Oggie was scared of big stinky cheeses, particularly Edam and mild Cheddar with small bits of pickled onion crisps. When he opened the door to the outside toilet he smelled a sweet scent coming from one of the small tubes down the bottom of his trouser leg, which was very long, but he needed to get a long pole so he could put it up the big bloody ticket dodging Irishman.

When the irishman found his leprechauns, he got wasted and drunk beer and had to puke to get a fish hook from his stomach and then he exploded into a little cheese cake of doom which can magically make him a monkey for having a money_avatar, cheese filled can of pizza soup, that can kill and eat bodies.

Silly young man who smells like Miz after a nice young lady, with false teeth, who has been chewing some chewing gum. Now this wouldn't do, so a dentist killed her, that is why she hid it up the corndog, then she went "j00 l33t N00b".

There were people who had partaaaays in old houses what almost break the silence outside and the silence killer is Sam Fischer who kills enemies with his trout and whack them...

SK
4th March 2004, 17:38
Hah thats great work Chilly!

Pro]v[etheus
11th March 2004, 02:35
<cough>update<cough>

Vorm
11th March 2004, 11:10
If someone who doesn't work for a living could find the time any time soon to update this, I'm sure everyone would appreciate it.

Failing which, I'll try over the next couple of days. :D

Pro]v[etheus
11th March 2004, 15:57
If someone who doesn't work for a living could find the time any time soon to update this, I'm sure everyone would appreciate it.

Failing which, I'll try over the next couple of days. :D

Needs to be someone with mod status so it keeps flowing from your post Vorm.

P.S. I work for a living but am on leave for a month :D

SK
11th March 2004, 15:59
If someone wants to do the dirty work and post the updated stuff me or vorm can edit the initial post. I would do it but im busy atm and I also cba :p

Vorm
11th March 2004, 16:54
Lazy t^%t :p

SK
11th March 2004, 19:45
Updated, thanks to LoginHere for doing the hardwork :)

Login_Here
11th March 2004, 20:19
No problem :)
Didnt have anything to do anyway...

elim
13th March 2004, 01:04
Few more chapters and it'll be a best seller :)

Miz
13th March 2004, 16:31
You're all mad.

SK
13th March 2004, 20:56
You're all mad.

Right, get him boys!

Miz
16th April 2004, 06:34
Updated. Never again.

Naigel
16th April 2004, 07:33
*slaps Miz in the face!

Miz
18th April 2004, 14:28
Well it took ages. :p

Miz
2nd April 2005, 21:52
Updated...

pat_rules
2nd April 2005, 23:42
i rings police in case of death of somebody